The Joy of Friendship?
by 2spiffy
Summary: Austin and Dez love. Had to fill this up. There was a shocking lack of slash...so if you don't like...don't read. One Shots
1. Rain

**A/N: Well, my dear sister and I were browsing the Austin and Ally section and we were utterly appalled at the lack of slash. I mean..it's Disney, it has to have some slash to it. So here is our contribution..to get the ball rolling-2spiffy**

**A/N: As my wonderful sister just said, there is absolutely no slash in this category. It's totally mind blowing that no one has come to the conclusion that Dez and Austin clearly love each other. Also, the only place I've ever seen Dez that isn't the mall place is Austin's bedroom. So, read and review. Enjoy. And what not. NO FLAMES! None. If you don't like slash you have no place on this earth. Good day.**

It was a rainy day in Miami, and Austin was bored out of his mind. Ally was sick, as was Trish, and Dez was nowhere to be found.

"The one time I really need him..." Austin grumbled to himself, pacing back and forth. He loved his best friend, he really did, but sometimes it was annoying how unreliable he was.

"Of course, I'm unreliable to." Austin grinned and sat down on the couch. He turned on the tv but, as usual, there was nothing good on. He tried reading a book, but it was way too boring. And he'd never really liked to read.

Sighing, he leaped up and grabbed his rain jacket. He pulled on his boots and prepared to head out into the rain. He was going to find Dez, no matter how long it took. Dez would no what to do about his boredom.

And, Austin had to admit, he felt something when he was with Dez. It wasn't exactly...an attraction...at least he told himself it wasn't. Him and Dez were just friends. Good friends. But, that feeling in his stomach told him that maybe he didn't want to be JUST FRIENDS.

"Don't think like that." He mumbled, heading out into the sheeting rain. As much as he liked Dez, he didn't think he liked him that much.

Walking quickly, Austin headed for the first place on his list of Dez hotspots, Dez's house. It was only a short walk from Austin's, which was a good thing. And not only because it allowed him to get out of the rain quicker.

The house, a small brick one, was deserted. No cars in the driveway, no lights on, empty. Austin knocked, but the only answer was a bark from a few blocks down.

No Dez there.

The next spot was, naturally, the mall food court. Austin couldn't even count the times Dez had called to tell him to get his butt down to the food court as fast as possible. They had had lots of fun.

He sprinted through the rain and into the warmth of the mall. It was practically deserted, easy to find someone if you were looking, but Dez wasn't at the food court. Or in any of the stores either.

"Shoot." Austin huffed and headed back out into the rain. He was getting more and more desperate. His stomach sank lower and lower with each place he searched.

His next spot was the park. It was a short jog down and back. A jog which turned out to be pointless.

Becoming more and more desperate, Austin ran through the neighborhood checking countless places. He checked the laundromat, the hot dog place, the ice cream store, the video game store, the movie theatre, he even checked the book store. But there was no sign of Dez.

"It's no use." He left the pizza place with a knot in his stomach and an odd feeling throughout. It could have been disappointment, but it was much stronger than that. It wasn't a feeling you felt after something like this if you were just friends.

"Maybe...maybe I don't want to be just friends." Austin admitted to himself, frowning slightly. It wasn't a bad thought. Just odd. And he wasn't sure if Dez would go for it.

Shaking his head slightly, Austin headed home. He'd had enough for one day, and he needed to dry off. Frowning deeply now, he turned and headed towards his house. He walked slowly, letting the rain soak through his hair and slowly seep into his clothes. He found he didn't care if he was soaked by the time he got home. He just didn't care.

About halfway to his house, Austin heard the sounds of feet slapping wet concrete behind him. Wondering who it could possibly be, he turned. As soon as he got a glimpse of the person, his whole body filled with a strange warmth.

It was Dez!

"Dez!" Austin smiled and Dez grinned in reply. He was wearing nothing but a tshirt and jeans. No rain jacket. No boots. Just a regular Dez outfit. He was soaked, his hair dripping water into his eyes, but didn't seem to mind one bit. He looked quite cheerful in fact.

"Where have you been?" Austin exclaimed and practically ran to join his "friend".

"My aunt's." Dez answered, looking at Austin curiously. Austin felt his face flush slightly.

"You're aunt's?" He asked, as if he'd never heard of aunt's before.

"Yeah. I told you I was going, right?"

"Oh yeah..." Austin could vaguely recall Dez telling him he would be visiting his aunt Saturday. He had forgotten at the time, seeing as how it wasn't that important.

There was a silence that seemed to stretch forever and Austin suddenly felt the oddest thing of all.

He desperately needed to kiss Dez.

Without thinking, he touched his lips to his friend's. Dez pulled back, shocked, and Austin heard a strange buzzing in his ears. Though, if it was from the kiss or the realization of what he'd just done, he wasn't sure.

"I'm so-" He began, but was cut short when Dez did the oddest thing of all.

He kissed him back. Right there in the rain.

Austin was aware of the rain beating down on him, and he knew he was probably soaked.

But right then, he didn't feel wet. Or tired. Or anything.

All he felt, was Dez's lips on his.


	2. Juststuff

**A/N: On to chapter 2. If you read the first chapter and enjoyed it, don't expect the same..this is going to be written by a different person. Sorry. It will be written about the same thing though which is Austin and Dez luv. Haha. Enjoy and flame if you want just make sure you aim it at me, 2spiffy, because uh I don't care. **

Austin was so far having a bad day. Why? He couldn't say. He just didn't feel right. It might have to do with the way he had been feeling lately. The way he had been feeling about Dez, his best friend. Whenever Dez was around, he felt funny. He felt warm and fuzzy. It was weird and when he decided to Google it he came back with some shocking results.

Love. Love, love, love. That's what the internet, the most reliable thing, said. It claimed he was in love with Dez, his friend, his guy friend. Emphasis on GUY. He was completely torn because the internet had never been wrong before...it couldn't be wrong...but he wasn't gay.

Austin was having a bad day for one reason, and as he thought this, that reason walked through the door of the music shop.

"Hey dude." Dex exclaimed.

"Hey man." Austin half-heartedly replied from his spot on the counter.

"You Ok?" Dez asked. He was slightly concerned that his friend wasn't as bubbly as usual. He knew that meet something was wrong.

"Oh yeah." Austin shrugged, "Just thinking."

"Oookk.." Dex chuckled as he walked behind the counter and took a seat beside Austin. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just...stuff..." Austin said, giving him an uncomfortable look and sliding farther down the counter. The fuzzy feeling was back and he couldn't help but think about what he had found out. Dez gave him yet another odd look, but this one was mixed with a bit of understanding.

"Well...stuff?" He questioned, sliding closer, right beside Austin, who once again slid all the way to the end of there counter seat.

"Umm, you know...stuff...music...friends..."

"So...just...stuff..." Dez questioned with a knowing look on his face. He knew what was going on with his friend. He then hopped off the counter and walked to stand face to face with Austin who looked slightly terrified.

"Yeah, just..stuff.." he managed before Dez cut him off with a kiss.


	3. Song

**A/N: Hello people, it's me again. By me I mean elilover2. If you haven't figured it out, we're switching out that makes any sense at all...so, read and review I guess. Sorry if this sucks, I kind of ran out of ideas. Enjoy.**

Austin stared at the paper. He'd done it. He'd written a song.

A pretty good song, considering it was his first one.

"I've got to show, Dez!" Austin jumped up, knocking his chair over in his haste. He knew his best friend would be just as excited as he would, and he would offer an opinion on the song.

Austin took off down the steps of the Sonic Boom practice room, flying past Ally, who dropped a pile of harmonicas she had been holding, and barreled through the doors. He momentarily froze outside the doors, debating on which way to go, but didn't stop for long. He knew just where Dez would be, in the food court.

Rushing through the crowd of shoppers, he came to a jarring halt at the fountain by the food cout. Scanning the tables, he spotted his red haired friend quickly. However, instead of rushing over to greet him, he stood transfixed. There was an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, like when he did something stupid but fun. Like riding his bike down a really big hill, or trying a few tricks on his cousin's skateboard.

Or when he was onstage.

It was a good feeling, mostly adrenaline, but there was also a mixture of nerves. It wasn't a feeling he associated with Dez. He usually associated it with hot girls, but even that hadn't caused it in awhile.

Come to think of it, the only thing that really had was being around Dez. Or talking about Dez.

Or even thinking about Dez.

"Hey!"

Austin was jerked out of his reverie by a friendly shout from Dez. He was waving him over, holding up a basket of what looked like cheese slices.

"Cool, maybe we can play Go Fish again." Austin mused, walking over to join his friend.

"Hey, dude." Dez smiled and handed him the basket, "Go Fish?"

"Sure! Well...I have to show you something first." Austin grimaced, suddenly feeling extremely nervous and kind of sick. Dez gave him a questioning look and he flushed slightly.

What was happening to him?

"Ok, show me."

"Not here." Austin shook his head, "Somewhere private."

Dez gave him another confused look, but got up willingly.

"Ok, where?"

A few minutes later and they were back in the private practice room. Austin sat nervously at the piano.

"It's not very good." He stuttered, feeling worse then ever.

"I'm sure it'll be great." Dez reassured, putting a hand on Austin's shoulder. Austin felt chills run through him and took a steadying breath.

"Ok, here it goes."

"_I love you, at least I think I do,_

_You make me feel, amazing._

_I laid eyes on you_

_And, felt renewed._

_I knew I loved you._

_But now you're talking to her_

_And you're talking to him,_

_But you never threw a glance at me._

_I knew I_

_Knew I loved you_

_But I also knew, _

_You didn't love me._

_It was_

_Was so unfair_

_Watching you walk away._

_Our first_

_First conversation_

_Was amazing_

_But you didn't seem to feel the same._

_I would_

_Gladly hold you_

_If you let me stay the night._

_But I _

_I also know you_

_Wouldn't let me, if I tried._

_Because you_

_You're amazing._

_And you know it's true._

_You don't,_

_You don't love me._

_But I will_

_I will always_

_Love you."_

He ended the song and threw a cautious glance at Dez. Dez was staring, gaping really, at him.

"Dude, who's that song about? It sounds amazing!"

Austin opened his mouth, but closed it quickly. Something was telling him his answer, whatever it was, was going to be wrong. Only one answer was the right one, and he now knew what it was.

"I think...I think it's about you." He whispered.

There was a long silence. When he finally dared to look up, something amazing happened.

Dez kissed him.

It was a soft kiss, full of hope. When they broke apart, Dez was smiling softly.

"You might want to rewrite those lyrics."

"Why?"

"Because I love you to."


	4. Easygoing

**A/N: Let's all have a round of applause from elilover2's wonderful story. Really, it captured everything we are about, and that is...well...I really don't know...anyway, it's me 2spiffy, obviously, and I am here to write another chapter. Read and enjoy...Oh, and we don't own the show. **

I'm usually an easygoing guy. I don't really like to think on things which can be good and bad. I don't like to worry, and I'd rather be fun. That's why Dez and I..click. We are perfect for each other, fate brought us together. I was never worried because he was always around to help me forget, and then to find a solution later. It was a perfect system and we were happy with it, but now things are changing and this isn't something we can just forget about. You see, I like Dez...and I mean like..like...like like, and I don't know what to do. Usually I would go to him for something like this, but I can't. I mean..I can't just walk up to him and tell him I think I like him...because it might ruin our friendship, and I couldn't live with that. There's only one thing I can do. Lie.

"Hey, Dez, can I talk to you about something...well..someone?"

"Sure man, what's up?" Dez grinned at me and my heart soared. Oh I had it bad.

"Well, there's this person I like..but I can't tell them."

"Well...who is he?"

"HE?" I gulped, how did he know? Was I that obvious? I wasn't even ready to admit it to myself, so how could he know? Of course..we knew everything about each other.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to let you know I know..." He gave me a slightly apologetic look, but it was Dez so he wasn't bothered he had let something like this slip. To him, it was nothing.

"Well..it..it's ok. I'm glad you aren't mad...or something."

"Yeah, yeah. Now tell me about this guy. Why can't you tell him? Is he straight? Because, that can change."

"Well, yeah I'm pretty sure he is," I chuckled, "and I don't think it can be changed."

"I'll be the judge of that. Now, tell me who it is." He commanded in a fake authorative voice.

"No." I shook my head for emphasis.

"Please!" He begged, giving me his goofy version of puppy dog eyes.

"No, means no." I sing songed. That face never worked on me. I might be gay, but I wasn't a softie. Hey, that's the first time I've admitted to being gay, I guess it just needed to be said aloud when there was no use denying it.

"Weeellll can I guess?"

"Sure. Guess away."

"Ok. Issss itttt..that guy?" He pointed to a guy at the counter who was a pretty regular customer.

"Cute," I said, "but not my type."

"Yeeeaah, he's isn't...okay...is it..that guy?" He pointed at another guy who was about our age..but he had the weirdest birthmark and I always commented on how it freaked me out.

"Um no. He's got that mark...eh." I shuddered a bit.

"Ohh that's right," Dez laughed at his joke. "So..is it...this guy?" He said, walking around to stand in front of me, pointing at himself.

"Um, what would make you think that?" I gulped, I didn't want to lose my friend.

"Well," he said, "I think I guessed right." And right there he kissed me. In front of all the guys he had pointed at, in front of Ally and Trish, in front of everyone. Yet, I didn't care. Like I said, I'm an easygoing guy, and I have Dez.


	5. Sleepover

**A/N: Hello, it's elilover2 again! If you don't remember me, you suck. If you do, you don't! Now, onto the "story" chapter...thing. Read and review, we don't own Austin and Ally, no flames...at least not for my chapters...and enjoy.**

I laid down in my sleeping bag beside Dez's bed. It was our annual birthday sleepover, something we did every year. It had started the moment we realized our birthdays (August 9 and August 10) were practically the same. We'd instantly talked our parents into letting us have a sleepover starting at midnight on August 9th, and ending at midnight on August 11th. We'd had one every year since.

"Night!" Dez called cheerfully from his bed. It was around six in the morning, and Dez wasn't even close to tired, I on the other hand was about to pass out. So, he'd agreed to go to sleep.

I curled up in a ball and closed my eyes. It wasn't long before I was in that odd state halfway between sleeping and not sleeping. While I felt like I was dreaming, I could also tell that I was slightly awake. It was the oddest feeling and I really didn't like it.

I forced my eyes open and looked around the room. Only an hour had passed but Dez, who wasn't even tired, was already asleep. He was stretched out on his bed, his breathing even, and his hands folded under his head. Sitting up, my eyes instantly strayed to his face, where they stayed. It was just beginning to get light outside, and his face shone with a soft light.

Suddenly, I wasn't so tired anymore.

He looked utterly gorgeous, and I was filled with the desire to kiss him. Kiss him while he was sleeping and peaceful, and nothing I did could hurt him.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were filling it. I couldn't kiss Dez! He was my best friend. And, a guy at that. Besides, I wasn't sure if he was gay or not, and if he was ok with me being gay. If I was.

"Go to sleep."I commanded my self softly and Dez twitched a little. Then, with a soft sigh, he rolled over. Now, instead of lying on his side facing me, he was lying on his back. The perfect position for just a quick kiss, not much.

"No!" I spoke sternly, my voice rising a little. Dez stirred again and I watched him for a moment. He smiled slightly and I couldn't tear my eyes away from his mouth. Carefully, inches at a time, I moved closer and closer. When I was only an inch or two from his face, I paused. I considered the consequences of doing this. If he woke up, it would all be over. He would most likely stop talking to me, or at the very least refuse to get within a few feet of me. It would be horrible.

"Of course, I can always pretend I was asleep." I whispered, and my breath blew Dez's bangs around. He scrunched up his face slightly, a confused expression, and I fought the urge to laugh. He would definitely wake up then.

Carefully, I gently pressed my lips to his. I held them there for a moment, feeling my heart beat faster and the blood rush to my head. I stayed pressing my lips to his for longer thah I should have, and pulled away slowly. My heart was still thumping madly and I couldn't hear through an odd ringing my ears.

I'd never felt better.

Laying back down, I closed my eyes and prepared to sleep. However, I was jolted awake by a soft voice close to my face.

"My turn."

And then, soft lips were brushed against mine. When they moved away, I opened my eyes. Grinning down at me was Dez. He kissed me again and, without any explanation at all, got back into bed.

I could hardly breath I was so shocked. Dez had just kissed me. He'd kissed me! A million thoughts ran through my head and I had to do everything I could just to keep myself from screaming them all. I felt like I was going to burst, but not from anything bad. It was actually kind of a good feeling. A good confused.

Finally, just as I was drifting off to some real sleep, Dez's voice broke the stillness.

"I'm a light sleeper."

And I was wide awake again.


	6. Different

**A/N: Well, I have returned after a long break, sorry, from writing. I actually wrote this kinda...Dez centered..and it's a bit sad...kinda...haha. So here we go. By the way this is 2spiffy if, after 4 chapters, you haven't caught on to the rotation. So, I wrote this after reading a very awesome documentary about Gay Rights. I loved it. It was the greatest video and if I could post a link I would. It made my opinion on the whole thing a lot stronger. **

Dez was a different, he knew that. He had learned to accept himself for who he was and learn to ignore what others said. He even became pretty good at. Who needed other people to make themselves happy?

When Dez first met Austin, he felt different. Austin soon became the one person he wanted to, and strived to, impress. It was pointless though, Austin loved him for him. This only increased his attraction for his friend and he soon came to realize that was another thing that made him not like the other boys, the boys he soon came to notice a lot more.

He finally came to better understand these new feelings, and he came to realize this was one area he COULDN'T be different. He started hearing words used to describe people like him, words he was scared of, or at least the mouths they came from. He learned to ignore the feelings, stifle them, not let them show, in hopes they would go away. It was hard to keep in. He felt like he couldn't tell anyone, not even Austin, for Austin would think he was a freak and never talk to him. Austin was all he felt he had left. He and Austin started to drift apart from the secret between them. He was losing him. He hated being different.

Finally, Austin grew tired of it. He knew something was wrong with his best friend and he missed him. He finally couldn't take it and confronted him one day when they were alone in the shop.

"What is going on with you?" He had shouted, his voice full of anger, worry, and hurt. " We use to be so close, you told me EVERYTHING! But now, now you don't." He finished weakly. His eyes stinging with tears he held back, "what did I do wrong?"

That day, Dez was faced with a choice. He hated to see Austin so hurt and full of guilt over something that wasn't not his fault. He had caused this. Even as he thought all this, that same fear gnawed at his stomach. The fear of rejection. Rejection from the only person he really and truely loved. Another scary thought. He was 15, he couldn't handle this. He almost walked out...but all those feelings and emotion he had held back for so long refused to let him go. Tired of being hidden. That day, he told it all.  
>Now, exactly a year from that, they wer celebrating making it one year as a satisfied couple. Now Dez no longer lived in fear of being hurt becasue of who he chose to love. He wasn't afraid of being himself; just like the old days, because just like the old days, he had Austin.<p> 


	7. Jealousy

**A/N: Lovely chapter from 2spiffy, wouldn't you agree? I personally liked how it was in Dez's POV instead of Austin's. Added a bit of perspective to these oneshots. I however, am going to write from Austin's POV. So, read and review. Or just review. **

Austin's POV (since it's gotten crazy, what with the Dez POV chapter thrown in. I feel I have to clarify.)

Jealousy.

It wasn't a word I was used to. I mean, I have been jealous before, but this time it was different. I wasn't jealous of someone's clothes or things. I was jealous of something completely different.

I was jealous of a girl.

This girl was Dez's new girlfriend. She was blonde and blue eyed, and seemed to only be with Dez for the kissing. At least, that's all I'd seen them do.

Kissing.

While we were playing games, while I was practicing a song, while we were texting or talking. Even when we were eating. It was gross, not to mention a little rude. And, for some reason, it made me jealous.

At first, I thought I was jealous because she was taking Dez away from me. We would schedule trips out, and he would call to say he was busy with his girlfriend. I would come over, adn he would say he was busy with his girlfriend. He even brought her to things we'd been doing for years. Traditions! I didn't think it could get any worse.

But, somehow, it did.

Eventually, it got to be a different kind of jealousy. It was an ex-girlfriend kind of jealousy. I began to think about Dez in an entirely different way. It made me uncomfortable, just because I'd only ever felt like this about girls before. However, it soon went from uncomfortable, to downright horrible. The new feelings made the jealousy even worse. I thought I couldn't take it. So, of course, Dez and his girlfriend got even closer.

It began to be where, wherever he went, she followed. If I invited him over, she came along. If he invited me over, she was there. I started to think that the "busy" excuse was better. I got angrier and angrier, until finally I'd had enough.

"Dez, we need to talk." I walked up to Dez, who was making out with HER as usual. I felt a spark of anger surge through me, but tried to stay calm. I didn't want to lose my best friend over a stupid argument.

"Ok, talk." He moved away from HER and she pouted.

"NOT in front of her." I commanded and he gave me an odd look, but followed. I was glad to know he still cared a little bit.

I took him around the corner to a secluded bench. I sat down and he followed, giving me a concerned look.

"What is it?" He asked and I chewed my lip, wondering how I should say what I was thinking.

"Your girlfriend, she's ruining everything." I stated bluntly, and Dez looked slightly shocked. He sat back, crossing his long legs, and studied me. Dez was a goof most of the time, but when he was serious, he was VERY serious. And right now, he wasn't kidding around.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we used to do stuff together, but now she's always there. And, all you guys do is make out. It's gross." I said it all in one breath. Dez gave me a look, letting me breath some, then spoke.

"So, you're jealous?" He said it matter of factly, and I cringed slightly.

"Maybe. Just a little." I admitted.

"Why are you jealous? I mean, we're best friends, I would never forget you."

"You say that, but you kind of are. I mean, the only time you notice me is when you come up for air, and that isn't very often." I accused and he nodded thoughtfully, a spark of something in his eyes. I couldn't tell what it was, but it wasn't something I associated with Dez. It almost looked like...remorse? Regret?

"I know what's wrong." He spoke carefully, and the spark of something grew. It grew until it shone throughout his whole face. And, I could recognize it now. It was longing. Or, something similar.

"What?" I stammered and he scooted closer. I resisted the urge to pull away.

"You like me, don't you?"

"I never said that." I protested and he smiled.

"You didn't have to." He moved even closer, until our legs were touching, and I twitched nervously.

"It's that obvious? So, what do you think? Are you gonna stop being my friend?" I was aware of how small I sounded, but I didn't care. I just wanted to know what was going to happen next.

"I AM going to stop being your friend. In a way."

My stomach dropped at this.

"I knew it. I shouldn't have said anything, I just-" I was stopped mid apology by a soft kiss from Dez. The soft kiss soon turned into a full blown make out session, and I suddenly knew how Amber felt. This was great.

Just as I was pulling away to breath, Amber rounded the corner. She gaped at us, her face paling. Before either one of us could stop her, she was flying around the corner.

"Oh no! Sorry, I didn't know that would happen I-" Dez cut me off with yet another kiss.

"I did." He held up his phone and showed me a text from Amber herself.

_I'm coming over there._

I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything. Instead, I went back to kissing my bestfriend. Well, boyfriend.


	8. Everything

**A/N: Well it's me 2spiffy again...with yet another chapter. Haha. I bet all you fans are excited. So here you go, another poorly done chapter from me, Elilover2's are the best. **

Austin smiled at the boy asleep beside him. He had known him for so long as a friend, they had seen a lot as friends and it soon became clear to Austin he wanted to be something more. He had been scared at first, but Dez had been quie enthusiastic about it. Now they continued their journey as more then friends.

"Wake up man," he jostled his boyfriend, "we're almost there."

The bus lurched and Dez groggily opened his eyes .

"What time is it?"

"Like 6, we've been on this bus for 4 hours."

Dez grimaced and stretched. "I'm going to go wake the girls." He slipped by Austin and padded off. Ausitn stared our the window as L.A. slipped by. He thought of how he had gotten here, on a bus, heading to an award show. It wasn't the first time. It wouldn't be the first award he got. It happend before, plenty of times, but each time was special. His career had kept growing since that day. The day he was "discovered" and his whole life had changed. He was blessed with all he had. He got to see so many new places with all the traveling he now did, and he never traveled alone. Dez always went with him of course, he couldn't imagine going anywhere without him. The girls went a lot also. He loved it when they all went. It was a great bonding experince. The trips were never dull, and this was all to do with them. He was so glad to have such great friends. While Austin was thinking about all this, Dez came back, sitting down ans grabbing Austin's hand.

"Thanks," Austin said, gazing at their interlocked fingers.

"It wasn't that big of a deal...though Trish didn't like being woken." Dez gavea small grin, not understanding what Austin was on about.

"Not just that...for...everything." Austin murmured. "For being there for me...for helping me with my career and life...for loving me. Everything."

Dez gave his hand a small squeeze and smiled, knowing exactly what Austin meant. "You're welcome."

Austin grinned and snuggled on his shoulder, he really had everything he needed right where he was.


	9. Apology

**A/N: Hey it's elilover2 again, come to write another chapter! Read and review! This might suck!**

Austin's POV

It would have been ok if it hadn't been Dez.

I kept telling myself this as I hurried back home, eyes brimming with tears. But, I wasn't going to cry. Not now, not ever. I wasn't going to give anyone, Dez or otherwise, the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I didn't understand it! Why had he yelled at me like that? It wasn't like I had done anything wrong! I'd just told him that maybe I was going to a movie with this cute girl, and maybe I was going to kiss her. What was wrong with that? He was just jealous because he'd never dated anybody before. Not that I'd known of, anyway.

"I just. Don't. Get it!" I walked past my house, not even slowing down.

It wasn't normal! Dez NEVER got mad at me. Ever. We never got mad at each other. The only time we'd ever fought was in the sixth grade when he'd taken my crayons without asking. And that was only because it was crayons.

I'm serious about my crayons.

Other than that, we'd never said so much as too angry words to each other. We never needed to. And suddenly he just decided to EXPLODE? It was hardly reasonable, and barely acceptable. He was going to have to apologize.

"That's right." I nodded, "He'll have to apologize. He'll have to apologize RIGHT NOW." I took a sharp right and began heading back toward Dez's house. I was going to get an apology out of him, or we'd never be friends again. I wasn't going to stand for it, just being yelled at. He was going to have to apologize, and I was going to have to forgive him, and then we would be fine. Just goofy old Dez and good looking Austin. A team.

But...whatif he didn't apologize?

I slowed to a stop and pondered this new thought. All along, I'd just been assuming Dez would apologize instantly. Practically beg for my forgiveness. But, what if he didn't? I didn't know what I was going to do. I wouldn't be able to just leave. Not after thirteen years of friendship. I couldn't just leave that all behind after ONE argument.

But, what if he was willing to?

What if he didn't WANT to be friends, and that's why he'd yelled at me? As impossible as that seemed, it was an option. And, if I was right, and he didn't want to be friends...the idea was too horrible to think about.

"Oh my God..." I muttered and started walking again, but slow. I was suddenly extremely nervous about seeing Dez, afraid of what he was going to say. I didn't know what I was going to do if he told me to leave, or made fun of me, or anything. We were a team. I wasn't ready to be alone.

Unfortunately, despite how slow I went, I still reached Dez's house. It looked kind of scary now that I had so many bad thoughts in my head, and I barely had the courage to ring the doorbell. When I did, I held my breath until the door opened and Dez appeared.

"Oh, hey. About earlier I-" He began, but I cut him off.

"You have to apologize. It wasn't right yelling at me and it hurt my feelings and I just want you to know that forgiving you won't be easy but I think I can and I just-"

"You came here to tell me to apologize?" Dez stoppped me, an odd look on his face.

"Well, yeah. I just thought since you yelled at me for no reason, you should apologize." I shrugged and he sighed.

"No reason? I had a reason."

"And what was that? You liked her to? Well, I found her first!" I flared up and Dez shocked me by laughing slightly.

"No, I like you."

A weird feeling rolled through my stomach. A good feeling.

"Well yeah. We're best friends."

"No. I like you like you. Like you like that girl. And, as for apologies, here's mine." He grinned and leaned down. I momentarily froze, but managed to scoot forward just far enough to let our lips touch. The sensation was amazing, like drinking water after you've been thirsty for a long time. Thirteen years for example. It sent a jolt of electricity through me, like my first kiss times a billion. And, it warmed me up inside.

It felt right.

"So, what do you say?" Dez mumbled, pulling back slightly.

"Apology accepted."


	10. Password

**A/N: So it's 2spiffy again (I have the most idiotic username) and I have another random story that came to me...in a dream...just kidding. I just thought it up when I was wasting my life away on the internet. Woooo internet. Haha. Enjoy.**

"Hey, Austin..." My best friend Dez called from his spot at the computer.

"Yeah?" I rolled off the bed and ninja crawled over, popping up beside him. He gave a shriek.

"Ah man, you got me!" We both high-fived at my epic win before getting back to why I was over there in the first place.

"Yeah, I can't remember my password."

My eyes widened at these words and I toppled backwards. Dez forgetting a password would mean a whole day of thinking up hundreds of random phrases before finally realizing it was something stupid or maybe even just the first one he had tried except he had typed it wrong.

"God Dez NO!" I sobbed dramatically from my spot face first on the floor. "I have plans for today, I can't spend my whole Saturday here, thinking up your passwords. I just can't."

"Oh, ok." Dez's face fell as he turned back to the screen with his shoulders slumped. I sighed. I couldn't stand to see my best friend, someone who I secretly wished was something more, this sad.

"Oh...well I have some time...and it can't take...to..long..."

"So you'll help!"

"Yeah, I'll help." I finally gave in, seeing his hope filled face. I was rewarded with a huge hug which caused my heart to soar and my face to flame.

"Let's just get this over with..."

X_X

"Pancake...pizza...pickle.."

"No, no, and no. Oh well. Next!"

"Aw come on." I beat my head on the wall. Three hours later and we were still guessing, well I was still guessing. I was also starting to run out of ideas and I had already texted Ally and hour ago to tell her I wouldn't be able to come up with a song today.

"Dez are you even helping..or trying?" I snapped.

"Yes." He gave me a hurt look. "In case you haven't notice, which you obviously haven't, I've typed in every signle one of your suggestions no matter how stupid they were."

"Stupid?" I couldn't take this anymore. "Stupid? The only stupid thing in here is you and your freakin passwords. I'm done!"

"Fine." Dex huffed, spinning around to glare at me. "Go. I don't need your help."

I returned his glare, grabbing my phone and heading out the door. I ran down the stairs and burst out the door, fuming. I was about halfway home when I felt my phone buzz. Thinking it was Ally I pulled it out.

"Dez, what does he want?" I started to put it back in my pocket without reading the message, I was still really mad..but...

"I found the password. It was Austin. I think that's my favorite."

...suddenly I wasn't so mad, and I was right back to loving him.


	11. Thinking

**A/N: Hey, it's elilover2 again! Congratulations to 2spiffy for another great chapter! I thoroughly enjoyed it! And now it's my turn! So,read and review And enjoy. Always enjoy.**

Austin's POV

"Know what we should do?" Dez asked, his voice wavery over the phone.

"What?"

"We should have a picnic."

I stopped what I was doing (playing checkers against myself) and grinned.

"That would be awesome!"

"Right?" I could practically feel Dez's happiness. Or, maybe it was my own. Spending time with Dez was one thing that always made me incredibly happy no matter what. Maybe a little too happy.

"We can invite Trish and Ally!" I suggested, and there was a long pause.

"I was hoping it could be, you know, just us." Dez spoke finally, his voice hesitant, and my stomach flipped. Something about being alone with Dez gave me a jittery feeling that set my thoughts on hyperspeed and my heart on hyper HYPER speed.

"Ok." I finally managed to answer.

"I mean, if you want them to come, they can." Dez quickly backtracked, apparently thinking my hesitation was a bad thing.

"No, it's ok. See you in a minute?"

"Yeah, at the park."

He hung up a few minutes later after giving me the job of making sandwhiches, since that was all I really could do. My mom didn't like me going to the store by myself, and all we had was sandwhich making stuff.

I set to work, quickly making a plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches (our favorite) and wrote a quick note to my mom telling her where I would be. Then, I set off for the park a few blocks away. It was a pretty day, all blue sky and sun, perfect for a picnic. I walked slowly, enjoying the scenery, which was mainly just houses, and ended up at the park a few minutes after 12.

"Did you bring the food?" Dez was at the fountain in the middle of the park, sitting on the grass. He had soda and chips, and was grinning happily. My face lit up when I saw him.

"Of course!" I showed him my contribution and grabbed one.

"Awesome!"

We spent a long time just eating and laughing, enjoying each other's company. It was nice to just talk again, something we hadn't had much time for since my "career" had taken off. I regretted it, but I was glad my singing was going well. And Dez was just as excited, I was sure. He always supported me in everything I did, which was something I really liked about him.

"So, now for the real reason I did this." Dez broke the silence, turning to face me. He had a serious look in his eyes, but something else was there to. I gulped slightly, though not from fear of what he was going to say.

I just really wanted to kiss him.

"I've been thinking about something..." Dez began and I felt my heart racing.

"What have you been thinking about?" I stuttered and he took a breath.

"Well, it's kind of hard to say. I mean, I don't know how you'll take it. I don't want to lose you as a friend because of it, but I don't think I can keep it from you any longer." Dez mumbled, his words fast and almost incoherent. I watched him closely, a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what he wanted to say, but I didn't think he was going to have the courage to say it. So, I was going to have to help.

"I know what you're going to say."

Dez looked shocked, "You do?"

"Yeah. You've been thinking about this." I leaned over and kissed him gently, then pulled back. He looked startled, and I instantly regretted what I'd just done.

"That IS what you've been thinking about?" I bit my lip, and Dez shook his head.

"No, I've been thinking more along the lines of this." ANd with that, he kissed me much harder, nearly knocking me off balance.

When he pulled back, I was the shocked one.

We stared at each other for a long time, both of us slightly shocked. After a moment, I spoke up.

"My guess was pretty close."

Dez laughed and kissed me again, gently.

"You're guess was pretty close."


	12. Stand

**A/N: First I am so sorry it has been awhile...but inspiration just wouldn't come..and then it did. It came in the form of the first depressing story on here. It's very sad...sorry...I guess I was just in a depressed story mood..and I was thinking this story needed to step away from the cute fluffy stuff we have been doing. Be prepared.**

I stare open-mouthed and horrified at the magazine. Right there, right in front of me in big bold letters, is my biggest secret. The only secret no one knows, not even Dez. It's so big, not even Dez, my best friend, knows. I dropped the magazine on my bed and soon fell after it. How did they find out? I hear the door open and I lift my head up, not knowing who it could be. It's Dez, of course.

I can't help but feel happy to see him...he is my best friend...but my face flushes and I can only pray he doesn't notice. I'm always afraid he will all of a sudden understand what it has meant all those times he has caught me staring at him, or hugging him longer then necessary, of blushing. When he realizes it isn't as normal as he thought. Yes, my crush on Dez is only 1 of the multiple reasons I had failed to mention to him that I'm gay. If I was straight, me liking him would be impossible, but because of that stupid headline telling everyone..he just might make the connections I was fearing.

This thought process caused me to panick a bit when he entered my room, uninvited and unannounced. What has he found out? He stood in the doorway for a second, shuffling his feet awkwardly, looking at the floor. Finally he glanced up at me.

"Hey man..."

"Hey."

"I, uh, I saw the article..."

I felt my chest tighten in even more panick. "Yeah." I managed to choke out. "My life is ruined."

"So it's true?" He was staring at me now, his eyes searching mine. Searching for the truth.

"Um...yeah." I stuttered.

"Uh...well I didn't believe...I mean I didn't think...I thought..I thought you would tell me. That you would have told me." He seemed to struggle to get this last thought out, and his voice was filled with defeat.

"Yeah...sorry...I guess I just...forgot..." I replied meekly. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look him in the eye and tell him that pathetic excuse. We both understood this better then any outsider would. We told each other everything...yet I hadn't told him anything...the ultimate act of betrayal.

I read something once. A fact of sorts. Something about...if a crush lasts longer than 4 months..it's love. Well, I've liked Dez since the first time we met. 10 years ago. Now, now I'm watching the person I love walk out of my room. Sad. Defeated. Unsure of where we stand as friends, as more.

"I love you." I call, not able to watch him leave, not able to hold it in. I see his steps falter, his shoulders sag. I think he is going to turn around, to at least say something...

I don't realize I've been holding my breath untill I hear the door close and it comes out in a rush. My first and last love dying on my lips, rushing away with that breath. That wretched breath. My heart just walked out that door, being carried by my "best friend," except I'm not sure where we stand anymore.


	13. Pets

**A/N: It's me again! Elilover2! Sorry it took so long, I was busy...living. And sleeping. So, anyway, read and review. Always review. Oh, this one is back to the nondepressing stuff. It will be ooey, gooey, fluffy, slashy goodness.**

Austin's POV (Never going to change for me. Ever.)

The day had finally come when my mom told me I could get a pet. I had always wanted a pet, even a hamster or something would do, and today she'd finally given in and allowed me to buy one. The only requirements were that it had to be small enough to be out of the way, but big enough that it couldn't get away easily. And, I had to feed it everyday and stuff.

Considering how big of a deal this moment was, I had invited Dez to go to the pet store with me. Of course he had agreed, and we had set off that Saturday. It was a warm day, not a single cloud insight except for the normal puffy white ones, and the perfect amount of wind. It was more of a breeze, than actual wind. Perfect. So perfect, we decided to walk to the pet store, which was only a few blocks from my house.

"I'm thinking I might get a rabbit..." I mused as we walked, and Dez shook his head.

"Too cliche. You should get an armadillo! They're like, the superheros of the animal world!"

"That would be so cool!" I agreed, but frowned, "Do they sell armadillos at the pet store?"

"I don't know...you know, it MIGHT be illegal..." Dez thought for a second, then shrugged.

"Yeah. How about...a hedgehog!" I suggested and Dez nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Second best animal! They're like the armadillo's sidekick!"

We continued on like that, reaching the pet store a short while later. Walking inside, I was instantly hit with the smell of animals. Food and urine and fur, all mixed together. It was kind of a good smell, like freshly cut grass. A little suffocating, but nice.

"Let me do the talking." Dez slid up to the counter and I bit back a laugh, and the urge to look at his butt. Though I had admitted to myself that I was gay a year ago, I still wasn't ready to consider that I might feel "that way" about Dez. He was my best friend, and I couldn't stand to confess my love only to lose him. It wouldn't feel right to live without Dez.

"We're looking for an armadillo. You know, a small animal with an AWESOME shell." Dez leaned against the counter and the cashier, a bored looking man of about thirty, sighed.

"Selling armadillos is illegal without a license." He blew out another sigh and Dez looked slightly perturbed, but kept going.

"Do you have any armadillos?"

"We don't have a license

"Do you happen to sell armadillos anyway? Like, on the down low?" Dez leaned in close, adopting a conspiratorial whisper.

"Look kid, I don't look very good in mugshots. Not my kind of lighting. So, can you just buy a DIFFERENT animal? Maybe, one we actually HAVE?" The man pointed to the cages lined throughout the shop.

"I guess. But, it just won't be the same." Dez shook his head.

"At least it'll be legal." The cashier muttered and Dez rejoined me by the door.

"No armadillos?" I asked, barely containing my laughter.

"Yeah, sorry dude. But hey, they might have something almost as good." Dez brightened up considerably as we headed into the maze of cages, looking into each one as we passed. There were all sorts of normal animals, like hamsters and gerbils, and than there were also some weird ones, like snakes and frogs. Finally, I settled on one. A turtle.

"You're mom can't argue with that." Dez pointed to the turtle, a huge one, who was just sitting in it's cage, "It hardly moves."

"And it's big." I shrugged and looked for the cashier. We were deep in the middle of the shop, cages on every side, and the cashier was no where in sight. We were completely alone.

I turned back around and stared at Dez. I suddenly had the urge, no the NEED, to kiss him. I stared so long, that Dez noticed.

"Uh...earth to Austin..." He raised an eyebrow, and I leaned forward slowly. Slowly, I brushed my lips up against his. He stood, frozen, at first. But, after a minute, he began kissing me back. We kissed for a long time, only the turtle watching, before a soft cough came behind us. I whirled around to see the cashier watching us.

"I hate to break it to you, but we just broke the turtle of his porn addiction last week, so you're going to have to do that somewhere else."

I flushed slightly, and Dez grabbed my hand.

"Of course. We'll see you later." Dez pulled me towards the door and through the door. Just as I was being pulled through the doorway, I called back over my shoulder.

"I'll be back for the turtle!"

"I'll be waiting!"

Then, the door closed and I was back in the sunlight, and Dez was pressing his lips to mine, and I couldn't think of anything better than this. Not even armadillos.


	14. Date

**A/N Ok, sorry it's been so long. I've been working on some songfics and that has been put on hold for lack of inspiration...XD. That's always my excuse. But...I'm back. Enjoy. **

Stupid Dez, always doing stupid things and then dragging me along. He constantly reminds me we are only friends when I get upset everytime I see him talking to another guy, then gets mad when I do the same thing. It isn't fair. I would love to go out with Dez. He's my best friend, and I love him more then anyone. He kows everything about me, but he "doesn't like me that way." Well I'm tired of it, waiting for him to change his mind. There are plenty of guys dying to go out with me, and that's who I'm searching for.

"See anyone?" I asked Ally and Trish. They were helping me hunt for a suitable guy to make Dez jealous. Ally because she loves to help anyone and she wasn't told the entire reason we were doing this, and Trish because she loves to make Dez miserable.

"No. Not really." They both said in unison. "But I found somone for me." Trish added.

"Ugh, I'm going to go get a drink." I huffed.

"Get me something!" They both gave me puppy dog looks. I rolled my eyes, but nodded, heading off to the drink fountain.

"Woah, need a hand?" I heard a guy chuckle as I tried to juggle the three drinks. I turned to see a tall, cute guy standing looking at me. He was about my age...just my type...and judging by his outfit..I stood a chance.

"Yeah, that would be awesome." I grinned as he leaned over to grab a drink. He smells nice, I noted. We walked back to my table, falling into an easy conversation.

"Thanks." I said once we got back. "You wanna sit?"

"Actually, I have to run. But here..." He looked regretful, that he couldn't stay, but he quickly wrote down his number on a napkin. "The name's Jason by the way."

"Austin." I smiled taking the number and tucking it safely in my pocket. "Thanks again."

"See ya." He said, his smile telling me that was a promise.

"Where's my shirt?" I shouted frantically runnning around. "I'm gonna be late." My stomache twisted at the thought. Tonight was my first real date with Jason and I really didn't want to give him the wrong first impression. Dez lounged in the doorway, watching my struggles with a cold gaze.

"I don't know. Why does it matter if you're late anyway?" He questioned. Like he didn't know.

"Because." I sighed angrily, losing my patience with him. "I want to make a good impression."

"Why? He only wants to sleep with you."

"DEZ!" I yelped. Momentarily stunned. I flushed at the thought. "Could you just help me?" I stuttered, still red.

"No." He smirked at my discomfort. I wheeled around and glared at him.

"What is your problem?" I growled. "Why are you so against?"

"I'm not against this, I just think it's stupid."

"Are you jealous?" I stepped closer.

"No." He glared. Matching my movement. We were in each others faces now, breathing each others air. I stared at his lips, only an inch from mine. I suddenly had the urge to kiss him.

"Are you sure?" I whisphered.

"No." He sighed, before leaning in and me. Kissing me like I had wanted him to for so long. Finally we broke apart.

"I think I'm going to text Jason...tell him I'm sick."

Dex chuckled, "sounds good to me." Before leaning in to kiss me again.


	15. Wedding

**A/N: Elilover2 again after a long break! Sorry about that! This is AU. I mean, do I even have to say that? **

Austin's POV

24 year old Austin stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was dressed in a white suit, complete with white shoes and a white tie. He smiled at his reflection and Ally, beside him in the mirror, grinned as well.

"Tell me again how you got talked into being the bride?" She teased and Austin laughed.

"Shut up and help me get ready."

"You are ready." Ally smiled and Austin gulped nervously.

"Are you sure? I don't feel ready. In fact, I feel kind of sick." He swallowed again, turning away from the mirror. Ally shot him a sympathetic look, eyes understanding. She'd gone through this nausea a year previously, when she'd married her long time boyfriend Dallas. And, like she was here for him now, Austin had been there for her then.

"You're just nervous. It's a big deal. You'll get over it when you get out there. Trust me." She rubbed his back soothingly and he twisted his fingers nervously.

"What if I don't? What if this isn't the right decision?" He sniffed and she turned him back towards the mirror.

"Look at yourself. Now picture yourself beside Dez. How do you feel?"

"I don't know!" Austin wailed and Ally sighed, racking her brain for something he'd relate to.

"Ok, it's like going on stage, right? You're always nervous at first but, when you get out there, you end up having the time of your life. And you never want to leave. That's how it will be with Dez."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Austin hugged his best friend, leaning into the comforting embrace. They broke apart a few moments later when they heard the familiar tune of the wedding march. Austin's stomach twisted angrily and he moaned, clutching Ally's arm.

"I don't think I can do this."

"You can and you will!" Ally hissed, pulling him towards the door. Austin's parents hadn't been invited to the wedding, since he had had a falling out with them a few years previously, so Ally was walking him down the aisle. Surprisingly, he felt better being given away by her than by either of his parents. She had been a bigger part of his life than they ever would be.

He entered the chapel part of the church, sucking in some air. Ally squeezed his arm reassuringly and he relaxed slightly. He tried to concentrate only on the front of the church, and not on the people watching him make his way to it. However, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them, it was hard not to feel their eyes boring holes in his back and hear their whispers.

Just as he was about to bolt, he caught a sight of the tall figure at the front of the church. Dez, clad in a tight fitting black suit, grinned at him from his spot by the alter. Austin caught his breath, his heart speeding up. Dez looked amazing, and he was about to be Austin's. All Austin's.

Austin and Ally reached the alter and Ally broke away, taking her place beside Trish. They were the only two bridesmaids, and they were both dressed in plae purple dresses. The dresses were gorgeous, and picked out by the girl's themselves. Most of the stuff was.

"Hey." Dez whispered as Austin took his place across from him.

"Hi."

"You ready?"

"Of course."

"You scared?"

Austin took a moment to consider this question "A little. You?"

"Nope." Dez, so confident in everything he did, grinned and Austin smiled back. He only half listened to the pastor or preacher or whatever he was, most of his concentration being taken up by not tackling Dez right there.

What felt like an eternity later, the rings were exchanged and then, the best words yet "You may now kiss the bride."

And that's just what happened.

The kiss was one of the best, better than all the kisses they'd shared since they's started dating at age 15. Better than the kiss they exchanged when Dez proposed. Better than their first kiss. Better than all of them. This kiss promised a new day, a new life, a new Austin, and a new Dez. They were married now and nothing could come between them. They were complete.

They broke apart, laughing and ran to the car waiting outside. It drove them to the reception where they danced and ate and cut the cake, shoving it in each other's faces of course. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. Austin couldn't have been happier.

After the last guest had left and the last piece of trash had been cleared away, Austin turned to his husband.

"I love you."

"I love you to."

And then, they kissed. And, it was the best kiss they'd ever shared. Better than they're first kiss. Better than they're last kiss. Better than every kiss.

Because it was their first kiss as a married couple.


	16. Blood

**A/N: Ah well it has been awhile, but I am back. I just haven't been in a slashy mood and since this is a slash story...well..it just didn't work. But as you can see I have returned with a new chapter to our lovely Dez and Austin story. Enjoy.**

I shifted nervously in from foot to foot as Dex went to get tickets for the movie. We were going to see the Hunger Games...and I hate blood. Hate it. It doesn't matter how real or fake, how much there is, or how much I see. It always makes me sick. So of course Dez just had to pick what would undeniable be the bloodiest movie in the world. I'm a little ticked about it, but it isn't his fault. No one knows about my hate for blood. Well...except for my mom...she knows everything.

"Hey dude. You ok?" I looked at Dez's concerend face and felt my heart flutter, reminding me why I'm here in the first place. My inability to say no to Dez. Ever. It probably had something to dude with the fact that he is so darn cute...and I'm pretty sure I might be in love with him..at least..that's what it feels like.

"Yeah.." I sighed, not wanting to let him know something was wrong.

"You sure? You look kinda pale...maybe you should go home. I wouldn't want you to get sick.."

I couldn't help but melt a little at his offer. Dez hated going to the movies alone, and letting me go now was a huge sacrifice for me. He must really care.

"No, I'm fine." I admit I swooned a bit. Kissing my last chance of getting out of this goodbye. Ah well. It couldn't be..that bad...

30 minutes into the movie, and I'm pratcally hiding under my seat. I feel like I'm going to be sick. Dez hasn't seemed to notice or care. He is to absorbed in the movie, which is cute, but I'm in need of some attention. I glance at the screen, a mistake I know, right in time to see a spear go right into someones stomach and blood to start seeping out. Nasty, oozing, red blood. That's it. I'm out. I jump from my seat and book it to the door. I collapse on a bench outside in the lobby and put my head between my knees. It's practically deserted so no one bothers me. I look up when I hear footsteps coming my way.

"Austin?" Dex calls. Sliding into the seat beside me he slings an arm around my shoulders. I lean into his side. "You ok? What's wrong?"

"Nothing..it's just...I don't like...well I hate...I can't stand...blood." I stutter. Hiding my face in his side.

"Oh man. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Now our date's ruined."

"Wait..." I sguiggle a bit away so I can look at him. "Our date?"

He nods slowly. "Well yeah..I mean only if you're cool with-"

But he didn't get to finish because I kissed him. Kissed him like I had wanted to for so long.

"Let's go watch the movie." I said, pulling away.

"Are you sure?"

I lace my fingers with his and pulled him up. "Yeah." I grin. "I'm sure."


	17. Lemonade

**A/N: I KNOW it's been forever, and I totally and completely apologize! Seriously, you don't know how sorry I am! This is elilover2, by the way! Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

Austin's POV

Austin stared out the window at the asphalt sidewalk, waiting for Dez. They were supposed to be going to the carnival, but Dez was already late. As Austin watched, the heat caused the air to shimmer, causing a temporary blindspot in his peripheral vision. It cleared away after a second, and Austin spied Dez coming up the walk. He had on purple skinny jeans and a neon yellow shirt, the worst combination of colors you could imagine, that somehow worked on Dez. Austin smiled and tugged open the door, going to meet up with his...whatever they were.

A few days ago, Dez had done something completely extraordinary and amazingly scary that had derailed Austin's whole way of life. He had asked Austin on a date. And, of course, Austin had accepted. He had been in love with Dez since the sixth grade, but had never gotten up the courage to kiss him or ask him on a date. He was ecstatic when Dez asked him, and even more so that Dez liked him back.

But, now, he was nervous. He'd been on plenty of dates, but never one with a guy. And definitely never with Dez as his date. Austin squirmed slightly as Dez hugged him and bit his lip, refusing to talk. Dez, sensing his...whatever they were...'s mood, smiled.

"Ready?"

Austin nodded, smiling back instinctively. It felt nice, smiling at Dez, and even better walking with him. They walked slowly, enjoying each other's company. After a while, they began talking normally, as if nothing had changed, and that felt best of all.

The carnival was small, only a few rides. They bought their tickets, Dez paying for both, and headed into the swirls of colors and sounds. They went on the Ferris Wheel first, adn Austin liked it well enough, but felt like the Tilt a Whirl would be funner, so they went on that. It left both of them dizzy, which caused them to laugh for five minutes straight, especially when Dez collapsed by a trash can. That was hilarious, neither of them knew why.

Next, they went back on the Ferris Wheel, and then on to the Merry Go Round, which was by far the best.

"This is so much fun!" Dez called over his shoulder at Austin.

"Yeah! This is awesome!" Austin agreed, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. He felt like there was nowhere he could want to be more than right here. Riding this ride with Dez right in front of him. They went around and around, surronded by smiling kids and beaming parents, and Austin felt so happy he could burst. He had never been this happy before, not even when he was onstage. Not even when he first met Dez, right after his parents had gotten a divorce, and nothing in his life was going right. He had been seven at the tme, hardly understanding anything that was happening, but feeling it just the same. He didn't know what divorce meant, but he knew what it felt like. Like the worst scrape on your knee, or a really tender bruise, or that one tie he had gotten a splinter in the bottom of his foot the size of a quarter. When he was seven, it had been all of those pains combined.

And then, Dez had come along, and the pain had eased some. After a while, they had started doing everything together. Then, after they had become a big part of each other's lives, Austin had realized just how much he cared about Dez. Way more than he should have.

The ride slowed to a stop and Austin hopped off, Dez following closely. They surveyed the Carnival, now a faintly glowing ghost town. The rest of the carnival patrons were leaving, since closing time was getting close. Dez looked at his watch, SpiderMan, and looked at Austin.

"We should probably get going."

"Yeah." Austin agreed. He held out his hand and Dez took it willingly. On the way out, they stopped and got lemonade. It was the best lemonade, freshly made, at least it tasted like it. Austin drank his happily, loving the feel of Dez's hand attached to his. They walked even slower than before, night creeping up into the sky, chasing all the light away. Austin glanced up at the stars, twinkling in the ink black sky, and sighed. His day with Dez was almost over.

"This was fun." Dez spoke, subdued, not his usual crazy self. Austin looked at him, surveying his face. It was in the same old Dez expression, vacant and goofy. There was no change in that. But, his voice had changed into something strange. Not a bad strange, just strange. Not like the Dez Austin was used to. This one was...strange.

"Yeah, it was. I really liked the Merry Go Round!" Austin grinned, thinking back to earlier that day, "The Ferris Wheel was cool too."

"Totally!" Dez was restored, back to his bouncy self. He stayed that way the rest of the way to Austin's house, eyes practically emitting a glow of their own. He talked animatedly about the day, and before long, they were at Austin's house. Dez walked up the driveway with Austin, eyes looking around nervously.

"Well, bye! See you tomorrow!" Austin waved and headed for his door, but something stopped him. A hand on his shoulder. Turning, he found himself inches away from Dez. At first, he shied away from the proximity, but then Dez kissed him, and he melted into it. They kissed for a long time, eyes closed, hearts beating fast, thoughts moving way too slow. Finally, they broke apart. Dez walked away, calling a cheery goodbye over his shoulder and leaving Austin to rub his lips absentmindedly and wonder what had just happened. As he watched Dez walk away, Austin tried to distinguish just what that kiss had tasted like. It had tasted like chapstick, Dez's only vice, and cotton candy. It definitely tasted like sweat, though in a slightly ok way. But, there was one other thing. What was it!

All that night, Austin tried to remember just what that last thing was. He strained his brain trying to come up with an answer, but just couldn't do it. He fell asleep that night an ddreamed of a thousand tastes, none of them right.

It came to him the next morning as he was sitting down to breakfast. His mother put a big pitcher of it on the table in front of him and he practically jumped out of his seat with joy.

The last taste, the one he liked the most, had been lemonade. Good lemonade, that you only got once.

He made sure to drink plenty with his breakfast.


	18. Swings

**A/N: Hey! I know it has been forever, my bad, but here I am! 2spiffy! Listening to Pandora and writing stories! Yay! So enjoy! **

**"**Meet me at the park."

My fingers skim the key, pressing send before I can wimp out.

Now to wait.

I sit down on a rusty swing, using my feet to rock myself back and forth.

Back and forth.

The chains creak as the move, and my mind wanders.

_He isn't coming._

_Why would he come?_

_It's been years since you've seen each other..years since you've spoken._

I continue to sit as 5 minutes pass, 10 minutes, they all tick by.

We use to come here all the time, me and him. Almost everyday. We would sit on the swings for hours, talking and holding hands. When we got tired of the swings we would slide, do the monkey bars, and then head home. On weekends, when it was sunny, we would have picnics in the grass.

It isn't the same now. It's been forever since I've been here, since I've been anywhere near here. I haven't been back here since I moved, that's when I stopped talking to him to even though he promised we would keep in touch. He promised he would visit.

I always thought he and I would be together forever. We weren't. Funny how all it took was some land between us for him to stop loving me, even though I still love him.

My watch says it has been 45 minutes, 45 minutes of remembering. I sigh, sliding my phone in my pocket as slowly as I can. I need to head back. I can't wait here all day for nothing. I grab my jacket and stand up, stretching. I hear a noise near the edge of the playground and I spin around.

"You came." My face splits into a nervous grin, Dez shifts from foot to foot and I realize this was a mistake. We can't pick up where we left off like I hoped, but at least now I can move on. Now that I'm sure it's over between us.

"Hey." He glances at me with his gorgeous eyes, the eyes that I fell in love with first.

"Want to swing?" I hold out my hand, just like before, and he takes it.

Maybe its not closure I came for.


	19. Prom

**A/N: Yeah! More slash! Ahhh...it's been so long since I've written for this category. Sigh...I've missed it.**

Austin's POV

I nervously tugged at the hem of my suit jacket, keeping a close eye on the Sonic Boom's lone clock. It ticked contentedly, like it knew I was waiting for someone important, and wanted to get on my nerves. Ally was looking out of the shop's front window, scanning the street.

"Are they coming?" I demanded and she looked at me over her shoulder. Her eyes were understanding and, unless I was imagining it, a little nervous as well. She turned back to the window, speaking to it's smooth surface.

"Not that I see, but they'll be here." She said it hopefully and I moved to join her by the window. As I settle in beside her, a shiny car pulled into view. It wasn't a limo, but it was a BIG car. I gaped as it rolled to a stop in front of the store and none other than Dez hopped out. He was dressed in a pinstripe suit with lime grin stripes, a top hat perched on his flaming red hair. I grinned at him, bolting outside to greet him.

"Dez!" He smiled broadly and kissed me full on the mouth, despite the many onlookers, and I turned alightly pink, "I thought you weren't coming."

"Why would I not come?" He asked and I shrugged, kissing him again.

"I don't know."

"Well, I did. And I'm glad, you look amazing." He studied my tuxedo clad form and I flushed again, pulling at my sleeve. The suit was black, paired with a lime green tie (Dez's doing). I was the more toned down dresser of the two of us.

"So do you." I murmured, kicking at the ground. Despite the fact that we'd been dating for two years, and friends long before that, I was still nervous around Dez. Only when he said things like this, though. When he made me aware of just what we were to each other; just what he was to me.

"Come on guys!" Ally sounded impatient, but not unhappy. She was standing beside her date, none other than Dallas, and positively beaming. She was wearing a long dress, a rich blue, that fell to her ankles. She looked gorgeous, her hair all done up in a loose bun, her face lit by her huge smile. She looked stunning. Dallas was lucky to have her as his date.

"Coming." I followed Dez to the car where there was a slight tussle over who would get to drive. Dez won and hopped in, leaving Dallas and Ally to take the back. I slipped into the passenger seat and slipped my hand into Dez's. With one last look at Sonic Boom, we were off, leaving the crowd behind.

Our destination was the school gymnasium, now housing the Senior Prom. It was going to be my first prom with Dez as a date, the Junior Prom having been on the same day as one of my concerts. I was excited about this, but I was also kind of freaked out. Dez and I were out and proud, but it wasn't exactly normal for two guys to go to prom together, and I wasn't sure how people would take it.

However, as the car pulled up at the school and Dez took my hand, my fears just dissolved. Now, I didn't care what people thought, and I didn't care what they said. I loved Dez, and I was going to enjoy this night no matter what. As we entered the building, I was hit by the lights and noise, music and people talking the perfect soundtrack for this moment. As Dez took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor, I melted into this feeling that only one thing mattered tonight.

And that was that I was with Dez, and no one could touch us.


	20. Firsts

First Meeting:

I sit in the sandbox, running my cars through the castles I built. It's hot but I hardly notice. I hardly notice anything outside of what I'm doing so I get quite the shock when a voice penetrates the air.

"Hi! I'm Dez!" A red haired, blue eyed, energetic boy grins at me. He has bright teeth and he is showing all of them in a goofy grin. I like him already.

"Sure. I'm Austin and I'm five." I grin back at him, holding up five fingers so he can see.

"Me too!" He laughs and I hand him my blue car, keeping the red for myself.

"Here, help me build a city."

"Ok." He piles up some sand, "this is the police station."

"Awesome! This is the fire station."

We continue to add buildings to our town. By the end of recess we have a store, a gas station, a house, and a cave. We destroy them one by one, cackling at the pure innocence that is sand castle demolition.

We walk in side by side, chattering about our favorite things to do. He tells me about his pet dog, and I tell him about my goldfish.

"I want a puppy too, but I can't have one. They make me itchy."

Dez nods as if he understands. "That's what happens to my cousin. He can't have a puppy either."

At the end of the day my mom comes to get me, and I spend the entire ride home telling her all about my new best friend.

First Fight:

"Austin I need to tell you something."

I glance at Dez, concerned. He sounds serious and that means whatever he needs to tell me will be something I won't like. It happened in second grade when my pet goldfish died under his watch and sixth grade when he decided he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. They worked out in the end, but each time it was a bit harder to fix. I didn't want to know what it would be this time.

"Ok. What is it." I cross my fingers and pray it won't be too bad.

"I…" he takes a breath and looks right at me, "Austin I'm gay."

I feel my eyes widen as I scoot away from him. Images of the class queer erupt in my mind. I hear all the taunts aimed at him AND anyone associated with him. Names that are so bad, no one hangs with him anymore. To be seen with him is suicide.

"You're lying. Please tell me you're lying." I can't stand the thought of my best friend being like that. Like him. It can't be true.

"No. I'm not." He continues to look at me, but when I don't say anything his eyes drop to the floor.

"Then I can't be your friend." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Dez looks up and stares at me. His mouth is hanging open.

I regret my words. I almost take them back.

Then I hear those voices, those words, but instead of being aimed at someone else they are aimed at me. They are cutting into me. They are labeling me. And I'm alone.

"I can't be friends with a fag." I stand up, grabbing my stuff.

I use the words I'm afraid of. I protect myself. I leave my best friend alone.

First Kiss:

I fix my eyes on Dez standing at his locker. The hallway is empty, and I can't help but feel glad it is. Over the past month, Dez and I have hardly looked at each other, and every time we pass by without saying hello I feel a pain in my stomach. I finally realized I couldn't live without Dez, and with that realization came a new one. I love Dez. I tried to deny it, to date girls, to keep my mind off of him…but here I am. Heading right for him; about to do something we will never be able to forget.

"Austin." He gives me a cold look. I stop, standing in front of him.

And then I kiss him.

I kiss him hard, pushing him into the lockers, pressing against him. I feel all the need I've been ignoring, all the feelings I have denied explode inside me. It feels great.

Finally we break apart, both of us panting, Dez stares at me.

"I'm sorry."

He gives me a considering look. "I know." He kisses me once, just a quick touch of our lips. He turns to walk down the hall and I grab his hand instinctively. He gives me a quick smile and we head out the doors of the school just as the bell for the end of school rings.

First Date:

I paced up and down the length of my room, giving my closet a death glare each time I pass. How could it not have anything to wear? I turn and stare into its depths before reaching in and pulling out one shirt after another, throwing them aside as I inspect them.

To short. To blue. To striped. To everything.

Nothing looks right and I'm just about to give up when the doorbell rings.

Too late now.

I pull on the least hideous of the options, comb my hair, and rush down the stairs. I take a deep breath before opening the door, trying to calm down. I throw the door open and there he is. Dez. I let my breath out in a rush and take in his t shirt and jeans. He looks perfect.

My mom bustles in with a camera, forcing us to pose for a few pictures and jabbering about how she always knew we would end up together. I hardly pay attention, I'm much to focused on Dez.

The way his hair falls in his eyes. His slightly wrinkled shirt; the way he reaches down to grab my hand.

"Let's go." He has to pull me through the door, I've entered some sort of trance, and when we reach his car he opens my door. "To the movies."

"Yay movies." I squeak.

"Why are you so nervous?" He laughs as he gets into the driver's seat. His hand once again grips mine and I slowly begin to relax. This is Dez. He is my best friend. It's normal that we are doing this.

We get to the movie theater and Dez goes to the ticket window. I know he can tell I'm uncomfortable, and he is enjoying it.

"Two tickets please."

"To what movie?" The ticket girl gave him an irritated look, she obviously wasn't happy to be there.

"Oh just whatever, we won't be watching anyway." He laughs as my face flushes bright red and the ticket girl's face changes from extremely bored to slightly bored.

I tried to be ticked at him for saying that…but he was right.

Even now I have no idea what movie we saw.

First Big Step:

"Austin, we've been dating for a while now….almost 4 years. We are out of high school. We made it through names, fights, everything…and I now know it is time to take the next big step."

I gasp as Dez reaches into his pocket, pulls out a box, and gets down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes." I tackle him to the ground, hugging him and kissing him. I have no words that can express my joy. He slips the ring on my finger once I calm down, but that just sets me off again. Finally the kisses slow. Become more passionate.

"Let's head to my house."

My face splits into a grin.

Looks like tonight will be one of many firsts…;)


	21. Ponder

**A/N: So, I'm not really going to say anything right now. Except that all the reviews we've gotten are wonderful. And, you know, keep reviewing. Oh, and we own nothing. Just putting that out there. Except these lovely plot ideas.**

Austin's POV

I wasn't particularly excited about this, and I wasn't pretending to be either. I sulked and moaned all week, groaned and complained every chance I got, and basically ruined Dez's good mood with my bad one. I almost considered myself a bad friend because of it, but it wasn't like my whining was without a reason! Dez was going to a FILM CAMP at NYU, and he was going to leave me all by myself for a WEEK while he did so. While he met new friends and forgot all about me. It was awful!

So, I made sure to be as unhappy as possible all the week before, just to show Dez how terrible an idea it actually was. I used all my charisma, all my best tactics, and even tried begging. Unfortunately, the day before he left, he still hadn't changed his mind.

We'd decided early on to spend that day together, by ourselves, with no one to bother us. So, early that morning I found myself on the familiar path to Dez's house, kicking rocks and looking as downcast as humanly possible. Upon reaching his house, I knocked loudly, and waited.

"Hey Austin!" Dez, happy as usual, pulled open the door and ushered me in. I sent him a reproachful look, flopping onto the living room couch. He sat beside me, studying my face with a sigh.

"You're still mad." He demanded and I rolled onto the floor, landing with a thump.

"Not mad, just clinically depressed." I moaned and heard Dez snicker.

"Dont be such a drama queen. It's only a week."

"How can you be so cheerful about this? It's seven whole days! That's...a lot of hours! You'll find a new best friend and forget all about me!"

"Austin, it's hard to forget a person in a week. Especially a person like you." He reassured me and I flipped back onto my back, glaring at him.

"Right. You're just saying that." I huffed and Dez rolled his eyes.

"Austin, for a high school senior, you're acting an awful lot like a 2 year old. It'll be fine, stop worrying and get your ass back on this couch, we're going to have a good time whether you want to or not." Dez reached out his hand and I took it, allowing him to pull me up. I reluctantly took a seat on the couch, leaning back into the cushions.

"I just don't want to lose you. You're my best friend."

And he was, Dez and I were like bees and honey, or toothpaste and anything BESIDES orange juice. We just worked. And we'd been together ever since Kindergarten. That was a long time. Still, I couldn't stand the idea of him leaving me for a week to spend time with a bunch of people who shared the exact same interests as him. I couldn't help feeling like he would find someone more like him, and leave me in the dust.

In short, I was a bit jealous.

Which was weird, because I wasn't the jealous type. But, this was a pretty serious matter. Dez was my best friend, it was natural that I wanted him to be mine and only mine.

"Austin, you won't lose me. I promise."

I took little comfort in these words, but decided to pretend as best I could, playing games and talking just like I normally would. But, my heart wasn't in it. All I could think about was Dez doing the same thing with someone else, someone who he liked better. I tried to chase this image away, but it seemed too much like a soon to be real event, and I couldn't get it to leave.

The next day brought the departure of Dez, and I was left to fend for myself until next Saturday. I wandered around the neighborhood a bit, bemoaning the loss of my friend, until I came across a very happy Ally. She waved cheerily and instantly began talking about her newest boyfriend, complaining about how he wasn't a big fan of music, but commending him for his great taste in books.

"He's read all the same things I have, and he's really nice to talk to."

"I miss Dez." I said it almost against my will, but it felt so natural to say, I didn't really try to stop it either. Ally's endless flow of chatter was instantly stopped as she gave me a sympathetic look. Her hand was instantly on my arm, a well known Ally comforting gesture, and her focus was fixed on me.

"I know, but he'll be back soon." She reminded and I sighed.

"That's just it! He won't be back soon! Besides, what if he finds a new friend while he's up there! He'll ditch me in a second and I'll have no one. Well, except you, but you're just not Dez."

Ally looked thoughtful for a moment, her face morphing slowly into understanding. She grinned at me, her eyes bright.

"I think you, Austin Moon, are jealous." She predicted and I stopped, gaping at her.

"I'm not jealous. Well, maybe, but that's just cause we're best friends, right?"

"I don't know. You seem pretty jealous to be just friends. Are you sure you don't, you know, LIKE Dez?" She tried and I shook my head vehemently, walking quicker.

"No, of course not." I dissuaded, shoving my hands in my pockets. Ally nodded appeasingly, but didn't look convinced. She left me soon after that to head to Sonic Boom and I wandered back home, pondering over what she'd said. I was almost positive I didn't like Dez that way, I wasn't even like that. We were just really good friends.

However, as I laid on my bed, staring at a picture of me and Dez from a few years ago, I couldn't help questioning myself. As I looked at his red hair and freckly face and goofy smile, I began to realize that maybe Dez was a little bit more than just a friend.

I thought about it all that night, barely sleeping at all, and all the next morning. I studied every aspect of our friendship, from every possible angle, and my reactions to and thoughts on Dez in general. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became.

I was head over heels in love with Dez.

And I had no clue what to do about it.


	22. EasyLove

**A/N: I know I have been gone for longer then I should have...but I've been busy. I found a new show to obsess over and I just finished the second season...the last season I can watch on Netflix. It hasn't fully hit me yet that I am done. That I can't really watch anymore...I'm still in shock really. I have a feeling I will be facing serious withdrawal tomorrow...and right now I'm not sure what to do with me life...soo here is a story..to take my mind of the pain. :( P.S this story was originally a song fic...but I wrote the story more around the sound of the song rather then the lyrics so it didn't quite work. If you want the full experince listen to Easy To Love by The Jezabels.**

I skirt along the dance floor, drink in hand. Hundreds of people crowd the floor, dancing and laughing. I hardly see them. My vision is blurring and my head is spinning. I suddenly catch a glimpse of red hair, shining in the golden light of the ballroom. I freeze as the world stops, everything fades away except for one person. I watch them dance, their face one of pure joy. They spin around and they see me. My stomach drops, their smile fades. For a moment I think he has forgotten me, but how could he? I showed him the world. I made him who he is. I start towards him. He turns away.

For the rest of the night I watch him. I catch every look he throws my way, I watch him flirt with every guy but me. He seems a lot more confident, like he's done something with his life. He's done better then me at least. I can't take my life anymore. Fame isn't what I thought it would be. I thought it would be easy. I thought I would be adored, not torn down by everyone. I haven't been the same since we ended everything. I thought he would be the one to lose it, to turn to bad habits, but it was me. My life took a turn for the worse when he left it, and his just got better.

__"Hey." His hand is on my shoulder, the warmth of it spreading down my arm. "Can we talk."

I nod, and he steers me towards a dark hall. I can't find my voice to refuse to talk, but I don't think I can take what he has to say.

"Why are you here?"

I stare at him, forcing my mind to focus but I'm taken by the urge to kiss him. My mouth meets his, and for a second he allows it, but then he pushes me off.

"What are you doing? You broke up with me a year ago remember?"

He waits for an answer. I remain silent.

"You remember why? You broke up with me so you could concentrate more on singing. You had just signed to that company, and you wanted to remain serious. You didn't want any distractions. Now all I see in magazines and online are pictures of you passed out somewhere or hooking up with some random person. Care to explain?"

I stare at the ground.

"It took me months to get over you, to finally feel ok. To get my life back together, and now here you are making it worse. You were always good at that, making it worse."

My mouth opens, I'm ready to deny everything. He falls silent, but once again I can't speak.

"I can't believe you."

I watch as he walks away and I feel my heart break for the second time. I swear I can hear it shatter. I try to breath but I can't, all I want is to be easy to love.


	23. Free

**A/N: You guys must love me. I'm much more prompt with my story additions than 2spiffy. Granted, 2spiffy's are worth the wait. Anyway, enjoy. I know these have been sad, so sorry for more sadness.**

Austin's POV

I wasn't exactly excited as I faced Dez on his porch, arms crossed. In fact, I was well on my way to just deciding on the easy way out and leaving. However, after a few moments silence and a few more moments preparation, I began.

"I don't think this going to work out."

Dez just watched me. His eyes betrayed no emotion, though he shifted a bit, crossing his arms. He said nothing, so I continued on, my voice stiff and uncomfortable.

"I just- I can't take it any longer." It being the cold, formal, depressing name for our relationship. Or, rather, what it had become. Because, despite how little I could remember of the beginning, I could always recall how I felt during those first few months: happy. And then, somewhere along the way, happy had been replaced with tired, and I had slowly realized that I was barely hanging on. I was destined to fall, and now I was.

"What do you mean?" Dez's voice was cold, not like it usually was. Usually, it was warm and friendly, though not as warm as it had been when we'd first started dating. Before the fights had become frequent, and he rarely spoke at all. When we'd spent a lot more time together, more so than we had when we were just friends. Back when I had been happier than I ever had been before, and I had seen nothing but happiness before me.

How wrong that had been.

"I mean," I realized I should probably answer the question, "That we just...aren't right for each other. I liked you as a friend, and I liked you as more than a friend. Until, I didn't." It was a confusing explanation and I winced as it passed my lips, but didn't try to re-explain. I wasn't keen on dragging this out, I really just wanted it to end.

"You mean, you didn't like us as a couple?"

It sounded stupid in someone else's voice, and I turned red.

"No, well yeah, but-"

"Austin, what are you trying to say?" Dez demanded and I bit my lip, cheeks burning. I was aware that I was making sense, but I was also aware that I had no sense left. Staying with him so long, even when it became a chore, suggested that I possibly never had any in the first place.

"I'm trying to say that I'm breaking up with you." I blurted it out and watched Dez react, slowly taking it in. His face fell, his mouth opening to emit some excuse, some attempt to make me stay. I didn't give the words a chance to reach my ears, just pressed my lips to his one last time and left, practically running. I jogged all the way home, dwelling on what had just happened though desperately trying to forget it, and praying that it would all just go away. However, as I reached my house and slipped inside, I felt oddly freed. Like, a weight had been lifted. I no longer had to think of Dez, think of us, do what he wanted. I could be my own person, do my own thing.

I was no longer dependent on Dez.

It was the best feeling I'd ever felt, and I was quick to latch onto it. If I could latch onto that feeling, I could get through all the days to come. If I could follow that feeling to where ever it took me, I didn't ahve to worry about anything. So, I did. I let my mind wander to all the possibilities and doors I'd opened by ending it with Dez. I could date other people, stay by myself. I didn't have to cater my life to anyone but myself.

It was amazing.

As I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, I slowly grew accustomed to this new idea of freedom. True, seeing Dez would hurt, but not as much as the fights had. And, explaining to people would suck, but not as much as the last few months with Dez had. I could do this, I could get through this, and I would be stronger because of it. I could stay friends with Dez, and I would still have Ally and Trish if that didn't work out. I had a life, and it didn't have to include Dez. I could do this.

As I drifted off to sleep, I kept these thoughts with me, running them over and over in my mind. As my eyes closed, and my breathing slowed, I let them keep me company until I no longer had any control over them.

But, in my dreams, these thoughts were replaced with something much more distressing. All throughout my dreams, I replayed my last kiss, the one I'd placed on Dez's lips before I left. I felt his soft mouth against mine again and again in a million different situations and, when I woke up, I found myself missing the feeling as much as I ever had. Suddenly, instead of gladly envsioning my life without Dez...

I just wanted him back.


	24. Ok

The "home" loomed before me, huge and imposing. Its whitewashed walls were worn, the windows were all closed and covered with blinds. It's door was dark green with a paper sign taped to it.

"Please knock before entering."

I raised me hand tenatively, looking back at the social worker, Mrs. Stacy, sitting in the car behind me. She smiled encouragingly, and I sucked in some air trying to gather my courage. I knocked twice, my knuckles rapping the door painfully. Flakes of paint rained down and one side of the paper sign came untaped. I stood nervously, my stomach twisting. I wished Mrs. Stacy was beside me, I had gotten to know her over the month we had been together, and she had become my rock of sorts. Now she was leaving me here, and I was hurt. So I had told her to stay in the car; that I would go alone.

I was starting to turn around, after waiting for what felt like hours but was merely minutes, when the door swung open. A woman stood before me. She was round and seemed friendly enough. She was holding a little girl, who looked to be about three, and she gave me a motherly smile. "You must be Austin." Her voice was warm, and I instantly liked her. I liked her even more when she didn't try to touch me. Like she knew what I had been through, which she probably did. The thought bothered me, if she knew, who knows who else did.

"Hi." I tried to smile back, but my face wouldn't listen, all the smile had left me.

Her smile remained in place, but there was a hint of sadness there. "I'm Mrs. Prescott. Let me show you around." She pulled the door open and I stepped inside. I turned once and waved to Mrs. Stacy, she smiled at me before pulling away. I felt a pang as I watched her leave, even though I had her number, even though I knew she would come the minute I said I needed her, I felt like she was gone for good. Like she would never come back.

Mrs. Prescott waited patiently as I watched, finally I turned back to her and the little girl who was in the process of whipering in her ear.

"The is Lily," she laughed, though I wasn't sure why. "She wants to show you her room." She set the little girl down, and she stared at me wide eyed before taking off down the narrow hallway we were standing in. At the other end were some stairs, and I watched as she scampered up, pausing to look at me. I gave a small laugh, following her to a small landing. She grabbed my hand at the top, looking shyly up at me, before dragging me to the left down a long hallway. Mrs. Prescott appeared beside me, looking a bit winded as she jogged alongside us. "This is the girls hall." She pointed at each door we passed, listing name after name. Girls were watching me, some with looks of curiosity, others with looks of loathing and disgust.

"This is my room." Lily turned to look at me, standing in front of a door at the very end of the hall. She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach the doorknob, and even then she could barely turn it. The door swung open and I was hit with pink. Pink walls, pink rugs, pink everything.

"Almost everything was donated." Mrs. Prescott smiled at the sight.

I took another look around, my eyes straining to see past the shocking color attack.

"Ok Lily, Austin has to go." Mrs. Prescott smiled at Lily, who had already started to set up her tea set. She pouted, grabbing my hand.

"But I wanted to play tea party."

"I can come play later." I promised, grinning at her. She gave me a thoughtful look, but let me go after I had pinky promised a thousand times I would come back.

Mrs. Prescott led me back down the hall, taking a right when we got to the landing. The hallway was nearly identical to the last, except now it was full of guys. Some were cute, others were hostile, but most were just indifferent. Mrs. Prescott stopped at the second to last door on the right. Inside were two beds, one mine, and one I assumed belonged to my roomate. His side was covered in pictures and things, while mine was sadly empty, with only the standard bed and nightstand. There was a small desk under a window, and a full size mirror beside it. I went in, sitting down on the bed, looking around. Mrs. Prescott took a moment to explain some rules and how the house worked.

"Now I'll just leave you to unpack. If you have any questions, ask Dez. He's your roomate." I watched as she slipped out of the door. Once I was alone, I began to think of all that had happened in the past month. Everything that had lead up to me being here. I slid from the bed, padding over to the mirror. I angled so the left side of my back was reflected in the glass before pulling up my shirt. Slowly, a long scar was revealed, running from the edge of my jeans to the middle of my back. I thought of my father, standing over me, I thought of my mother who was long gone. I placed my hands on the faint memories of large bruises, each the shape of a shoe.

"Mom or dad?" I hadn't heard the door open I was so lost in my thoughts, and I jumped. A boy was standing behind me. He had bright red hair and a goofy face. He was tall and thin, yet cute in an odd way. I flinched, pulling down my shirt, but there was no denying he had seen. He studied me, waiting for an answer, once he realized I wouldn't give one he continued to talk. "Mine was my mom, she was never the sweetest thing, and one day she got a little to happy with our carving knife. My dad, bless him, was oddly not present for this." He said all this while lifting his shirt. His stomach and chest were covered in scars, the longest stretching from his bellybutton to the edge of his ribs. I averted my eyes, a little disturbed by the sight.

I was shocked by his willingness to talk about it, to joke about it. It was oddly comforting. Maybe one day I could be like him. Able to recount what happened. Not ok exactly...but better.

"I'm Dez."

"Austin."

He smiled warmly at me, and I smiled shyly back. He seemed so happy to hear me finally say something.

"Dinner!" A voice bellowed, and suddenly the sound of who knows how many pairs of feet surrounded us. I jumped at the noise, and Dez laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with him. He walked to the door, opening it and turning to look at me. I continued to stand where I was, thinking, before walking over to him.

"You can sit with me."

"Dad." I replied, hardly hearing what he said, only thinking about what I had to say. "It was my dad."

He watched my face, saw the effort it took for me to tell him this. How much it hurt. He smiled another warm smile. And I knew he understood what I meant, how I was telling him thank you. He didn't know me, I didn't know him, yet around him I felt safer. Happier.

"Lets go. Before all the food is taken."

I strayed behind for a minute. Watching him. It suddleny hit me, that with his help, I wouldn't just be better. One day, I would be ok. And that was something I wanted more then anything. To feel ok again.


	25. Search

**A/N: Hey! Sorry it's taken so long! **

Austin was busy playing on one of the many pianos stashed through out Sonic Boom when Dez burst in looking haggard. He was clothed in bright yellow pants and a red shirt that clashed with his flaming red hair, and barely managed to skid to a stop in time to avoid colliding with Austin and the piano.

"AUSTIN WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!" Dez yelled, forgetting (or possibly disregarding) the fact that Austin wasn't even a foot from him. Austin winced at the volume of his friend's voice, but willingly jumped up to assist in any way he could.

"What's wrong?" He demanded and Dez began to pace, looking troubled.

"I went to find Ally, so I could see how the song's coming, and she's NO WHERE! I've checked everywhere, but I can't find her!"

"Have you asked Trish?" Austin questioned and Dez sent him an exasperated look.

"Why would I do that!?"

"Because TRISH is ALLY'S best friend! And," He added with shrug, "Girl's always keep tabs on each other!"

"Will you help me find Trish then?" Dez sent Austin an imploring look and Austin shrugged again.

"Sure, I'll help!"

And off they went, racing through the crowded streets and earning many angry looks and retorts as they pushed people out of their way. They ran all the way to the mall, stopping to breathe just outside the doors before ducking inside. It was crowded as it usually was, and Dez looked devestated.

"Man, we'll never find her in all this!" He stared at the hoardes of people strolling through the stores and in the wide food court, frowning. Austin nudged him, pointing at a store he knew Trish frequented, and suggesting they take a look. Dez was quick to comply and they hurried inside, scanning the small room quickly. Once it was clear Trish wasn't there, they moved onto the next place.

On and on they searched, poking their heads into every store and giving it a cursory look before moving on. Unfortunately, Trish was no where to be found, and they always had to move on.

Girly stores, sporty stores, pet stores. Up a level, down a level, through the food court, around the fountain. No store was left unsearched and no space was left unnoticed. By the time two hours had passed, every inch of space had been seen at least once, and several of the bigger spots had been seen several times. When they'd finally agreed that Trish was not at the mall they exited the building, Dez looking utterly defeated.

"Now what do we do?" He huffed and Austin scanned the busy sidewalk, trying to think of another one of Trish's favorite hang outs. He could only think of one, and that was Sonic Boom, which was currently empty. However, he couldn't bring himself to tell the sour faced Dez that, so he decided a lie would be best.

"How about the park?" He suggested and Dez glanced at him.

"You think she'll be there?"

"She could be." Austin said rather defensively and Dez grinned at him, though he quickly resumed his frowning when they began to walk. Austin watched him, suddenly curious as to why this song was so important. He couldn't even remember asking for a song...

This was soon chased from his mind as the park came into view and the search continued. They looked everywhere, even on the playground, but the park was just as Trishless as the mall had been. As they left, Dez sighed, looking over his shoulder.

"Man! I thought she would be in there!"

Austin nodded, "Yeah...but, we can check somewhere else! I'm sure we'll find her!"

"Maybe we'll find Ally instead." Dez sounded hopeful and Austin high fived him.

"That's the spirit! Come on! We can check that hot dog place down by Sonic Boom."

Neither of the two were at the hot dog joint, though eating was enough to make Dez marginally more cheerful. He was bouncing when they left thirty minutes later and didn't seem nearly as concerned about the song as he had been before.

"Where should we check next?" Austin asked and Dez shrugged looked carefree, like he usually did.

"Eh, it's not that important!" He began to whistle and walk aimlessly, Austin following along bemusedly.

"Not important? Then why did we search all those places?"

"I don't know, seemed like it might be important, but now I realize it isn't." Dez answered rather shiftily and Austin hurried to move beside him.

"I don't even remember asking Ally to write a song." He voiced this thought, the one that had been bothering him earlier, and Dez looked (if possible) even shiftier.

"You don't?"

"No."

"Well, you need to get your memory checked." He turned pink as he said this which confused Austin even more. Why was he suddenly embarrassed?

They walked in silence as Dez studiously ignored Austin who studiously ignored everything but Dez. He couldn't fathom why Dez was suddenly biting his lip like he was nervous. And he couldn't fathom why Dez had decided, after searching for so long, that the song wasn't important any more.

And he really couldn't fathom why Dez was suddenly spinning around to face him, looking determined and a bit terrified.

"There is no song." His voice shook slightly as he said it and Austin stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I just told you that so you would come with me."

"Come with you where?"

"To find her."

"Why?"

"So we could be together."

"Why didn't you just come to my house?" Austin was thoroughly confused now and Dez was stammering something that was incomprehensible.

And then he was leaning closer, his eyes giving Austin the chance to pull away if he wanted, but Austin didn't pull away and their lips met ane the world seemed to melt. The world was shaking beneath Austin's feet and sparks and flashes were popping across his eyelids, brightening the darkness. They stayed together for a mere second before Dez pulled away, face terrified, and Austin smiled.

They began to walk again, no one bothering to say anything. Austin contemplated the feeling of Dez's lips and the lack of a song. Dez, he could only assume, was contemplating what he'd just done.

They were all the way back at Austin's house before Dez could look at him and they were up the porch steps before he could smile. They stood on the porch watching each other and Austin contemplated the way Dez's eyes lit up when he smiled and how nice he smelled when he got really close and how nice it felt to have those soft lips brush his for a second time.

And then Dez was pulling away and walking down the steps and going back to his home and Austin was left standing on the porch looking after him. He watched until Dez's tall figure had disappeared before going inside and closing the door.

Only then did he begin to wonder where Trish and Ally had gotten too.

Because he had something phenomenal to tell them.


	26. Plaything

The summer before sixth grade was a painful year for me. I had just recently decided I was in love. Yep, I was in love with my best friend Dez. And what wasn't to love? With his adorable red hair and goofy personality. I didn't tell anyone, but he figured it out, and soon became to test my affections.

"Austin do this." Said with a sweet smile and pleading eyes so it was impossible to resist. I would helplessly obey each and every command, no matter how crazy and embarrassing they were. I was always hoping for some reward, some sign of affection. He learned to play with my emotions, enough so that my hopless doting continued through middle school. As we got older, he began to reward me in quick kisses and stolen moments. He would treat me like a king one day, and the next he would turn around and flirt with other guys. Give them my kisses, and the affections I thought I deserved. Many days, I went home heartbroken and vowing to get over him. To find someone else. To never give in to his wishes. But the next he came to, his eyes lit up with mischeif, his lips promising, I forgot all of my promises to myself and I once again obeyed his every demand. I was putty in his hands, and it was killing me, until one day I got some much needed advice.

"Austin," Ally, my other best friend sighed, placing herself beside me on the bed. "You've got to stop letting Dez mess with you like this" It was another bad day, Dez had just introduced us to his new boyfriend, and I had spent the most of the afternoon in tears.

"What am I suppose to do?" I sobbed, my voice muffled by my pillow.

"The thing with Dez is, he likes having control, being able to play with you. But then he gets bored. So, if you don't let him control you, he won't get bored, and he will be crazy for you."

She went home, and I was left thinking about what she said. It was that night, I decided I was going to give Dez a taste of his own medicine. No longer would he control me, because I was going to control him.

That summer, the summer before high school, I completley ignored Dez. I never called, and when he did I didn't answer. I made sure I was always with other people, other guys, when I went by the store where he worked. I refused to acknowledge him.

The first day of ninth grade, he came up to me in the hall. "Hey Austin, long time no see."

"Oh hey Dez. Yeah, I was busy." I smiled at him before heading to my next class. He stood, stunned, for a moment before hurrying after me.

"What do you have first?"

"Mmm Bio with Mrs. Harris."

"Cool. Me too. Want to sit together?"

"Maybe."

And just like that, he was mine. No longer was I the one following like a lost puppy. It was him. For all of ninth grade, I kept him guessing like he kept me guessing.

Even now, halfway through our tenth grade year, I'm still ahead. Promising kisses and laughter one moment, then throwing it all away the next. Now it was me, flirting with other guys, just because I could, keeping him on the side for when I needed him. When I was bored of my other playthings. Giving him just enough hope that he stayed.

Sure it isn't nice, and sure I shouldn't do it, especially since I know how it feels. But all that doesn't matter because to me he is just a plaything, like I was for all those years.


	27. Easy

**A/N:**

**So, I'm (elilover2) back.**

Dez's POV

For once in my life, I'm not excited about going to Sonic Boom, especially since I know Austin will be there.

When I told Austin I was gay, just last week, he hadn't taken it well.

I thought, since we've been best friends for forever, he would stick with me no matter what. But he proved that to be wrong, wrong, wrong, and now I can't even look him in the eye.

He hasn't talked to me since and I'm beginning to think he'll never talk to me again. It hurts because, aside from his being my best friend, he's also the only person I've told. I can't tell my parents, I have yet to tell Trish or Ally, and there's no one else to share it with. I suppose I could tell Dallas, but something about that seems a little desperate.

I just want my friend back, the one person I can talk to.

It takes me a long time to work up the courage to go to Sonic Boom, but I finally drag myself outside. The sun is shining, there aren't any clouds in the sky, and I still manage to feel like I'm on my way to the gallows. The sidewalk is busy, more so in the downtown area than around my house. It's clear that this day is too perfect to waste.

Sonic Boom is full, making me feel slightly better. If Austin is around, I might be able to avoid him, even if I have to duck behind strangers to do so. The bell above the shop chimes as I walk in and Ally looks up, a dazed expression on her face.

"Welcome to Son-oh, hey Dez!"

"Hey, busy day?" I tease, picking my way through the crowd of people to the counter. Ally rolls her eyes and hurries off to help a customer, pointing at the cash register as she does. I lean against the counter, knowing she wants me to watch the money, and wait for her to return. Someone attempts to buy somthing, placing their item on the counter, and I attempt to make them wait. The woman however, blonde and large, is not keen on the idea.

"If you can't provide me with teh proper service I'll have to take my business elsewhere!"

I feel like telling her that a 1.99 harmonica isn't really 'business', but Ally returns and deftly takes over. Before long, the woman is appeased and the proud owner of a harmonica. Ally just looks exhausted.

"Bad time?" I ask and she shakes her head, pressing some buttons on the cash register. The drawer pops open and she pulls out some change, handing the quarters and dimes to me.

"Will you go buy me something from the vending machine? Food, drink, it doesn't matter."

I obediently take the money and the vague instructions, heading towards the door. I'm nearly there when Ally calls out a haggard "Ok, fine, I want a Snickers bar!", already surrounded by a sea of customers.

I'm laughing as I head towards the vending machines, certain that Ally is going to be grumpy when I get back. The thought of a grumpy Ally is funny merely because she's the nicest person I know, too caught up in everyone else to really be mean. Her grumpy is like someone else's good day.

The vending machines are crowded when I get there forcing me to wait. Hoardes of people jostle their way to the front of what once must have been a line. Someone with blonde hair passes by me and I can almost swear it's Austin, but before I can get a better look the person is gone. To keep myself from worrying I pull out my wallet and count out some change, deciding Ally deserves a drink as well as something to eat. It's nearly 3 and, with the store this busy, it's doubtful she's had lunch.

The crowd slowly disperses until only a few of us are left. I wait for my turn, the line appearing as the crowd lessens, and tap my foot. A few girls at the front of the line say something and giggle, running away from the machines with their arms full of random snacks. As they were the bulk of the group, the machines are now empty enough for me to step up.

"One Snickers." I murmur and feed the machine the quarters, pressing the appropriate buttons. The candy falls into the slot, retrieval slightly awkward due to my gangly height, and I turn towards the drink machines. Behind me, someone clears their throat.

"Yeah?" As I turn to face the throat clearer, my vision blurs. I know the throat cleared; it's Austin. He looks a bit scared, his face tight but determined. I consider turning away, making it clear that I'm good without him, but something tells me to stay and see what happens. If it goes badly, I can get a punch in before giving up on him forever.

"Hey."

"Hi."

He bites his lip and looks at the tiles beneath our feet.

"How are you?"

"It's been a week. I'm good."

He glances up at me, peers through his bangs, then goes back to looking at the ground.

"I'm sorry."

I like the sound of those words, but I refuse to make this easy. He can grovel a bit, beg a little, but he can't have it easy.

I stay silent until he looks up, eyes pleading, and starts talking.

"I know I shouldn't have done it, you're my best friend and I should stick with you, but I was scared. I was scared because when you said it...I said it too, but to myself. I said it and I said something else and this kind of stuff isn't _easy _Dez and I didn't know...I didn't know if I could do it. And it isn't easy but you're my best friend and I said it too, Dez, and I said it and I'll say it now: I love you."

_I love you._

Three simple words that make my head spin, make the floor shake, but I'm grounded by the feeling of lips against mine. Austin is kissing me and I can hear the words, I can taste the words, and deep in my heart I return the words.

I don't say it because this stuff isn't _easy_, but I feel it and I return it and I know he knows I do.

And, if he doesn't, I'll make sure he learns soon.


	28. Chruch Kiss

**A/N: Since I finally get Elilover2 to post a story, and you all seemed glad we were back, I decided to go ahead and post another one. Now, this may be slightly offensive to Christianty, sorry. And also, I refer to church and shit as The Church, which might sound incorrect, but that's because the whole time I was thinking of the song The church is not a building, the church is not a steeple, the church is not a resting place, the church is the people. So, literally, the church is the people. Also, the very last line is a reference to something, brownie points if you guess right. :)**

"Dez, it's Sunday."

I sit up in bed, staring at my redheaded boyfriend in confusion and slight horror.

"Yeah, I know." He grinned back at me.

"It's eight o'clock in the morning. On a Sunday. What the fuck are you doing in my house? Who let you in? And why are you in a suit? Not that you don't look good." I added as an afterthought.

He smiled wider before packing my on the lips. "Your mom let me in, she wasn't pleased."

"Of course not. It's eight in the damn morning on a Sunday." I ran a hand through my hair, wincing at what I imagined it to look like.

"Nice bed head." Dez smirked, knowing exactly what was going through my mind. "Anyway, I'm in a suit because WE," he made sure to emphasize the we, which meant I wasn't going to like what he had to say next. "Are going to church."

"I'm going back to bed." And with that, I reburrowed into my covers.

"Get up lazy ass. It will be a good experience for us." He ripped the covers away and I yelped at the cold.

"Why in the WORLD would we go to church? Have you forgotten we are GAY? We are exactly what the church ISN'T about!" I couldn't help but rant a little, the church and I weren't fond of each other.

"The church might hate us, but God doesn't. I watched a documentary on it."

That explains it. Fucking documentaries.

"No."

"Please?"

No."

"I'll but you ice cream."

"..."

"..."

"Fine."I huffed after considering. It couldn't be that bad. Hopefully.

"Awesome!" He jumped up and grabbed something from my chair. "I brought you a suit. Go take a shower. And fix your hair. I think it's adorable, but the church might not." I smacked him on the back of the head as I passed to go to the shower. He only laughed in response.

30 minutes later we were squished into a tiny pew, surrounded by people who were all giving us dirty looks. I grasped Dez's hand tighter, wincing at each whisper I heard. Dez seemed immune to it all, and was wrapped up in the sermon. I could barely hear it, let alone register it.

Finally, I coughed to get his attention before nodding to the door, there was no way I was staying for this. He looked concerned, but let me go, before turning back to listen to the preacher. I felt a little stung that he was staying, but hey, it was his idea to come, might as well let him stay. I just wish he hadn't dragged me. I tried to ignore the people I passed, but their words reached my ears, and none of them were pleasent. I thought this was church. I thought these people were suppose to love everyone. It was maddening, listening them use God to turn on anyone who dared to be different. It was warm outside, and I sat on the sidewalk to wait. 10 minutes later, Dez came out, along with everyone else. He seemed pleased, and that hurt a little.

"Let's go." I stood up and started walking, not bothering to wait on him.

"Wait up! What's wrong?" He caught up, grabbing my elbow.

"What's wrong? Did you hear what half of those people were saying? We weren't welcome there, so why did you stay?"

"Because I was making a statement." He said is as if it were simple, but I wasn't able to grasp it.

"A statement.?"

"Yes. A statement that I can love their God, and he can love me, even though I'm gay. They can't keep me from that, no matter how hard they try."

I smiled a bit at his logic, though I suppose it made sense. "Well, if you don't mind, I don't think I will be joining you for anymore of these statements."

"Oh trust me, that was the first and last statement I will ever make. Well, besides this one."

And there, in front of all those people, who kissed me. And it wasn't a church kiss either.


End file.
